Nothing Worthwhile is Ever Easy

Friday, August 21, 2009 by Becca.

Sometimes being heavier is easier.  It’s hard when shopping for clothes or trying to ride any form of public transportation without becoming extra friendly with the person next to you, but it’s easy sometimes too.  At least, it’s been easy for me in the past.  It’s been very easy to tell myself that I don’t care how heavy I am.  I could tell myself I wasn’t concerned with appearances and that I wasn’t interested in other people’s opinions of how I look.

All of which is true, sort of, on my good days.  What shook me out of my nice little cocoon of denial was my health.  I’ve had some health problems that I would not have at such a young age if I took better care of myself.  So I’ve made changes in my lifestyle and slowly I’m losing weight and getting more fit.

I miss that denial though, more than I miss greasy double cheeseburgers or giant chocolate cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles.  It’s hard to look in the mirror everyday and see someone who’s working on bettering her body, hard to give up the security of that bigger sense of self.  I need to remind myself why I started this whole process.

Of course it’s hard, of course there’s a struggle and obstacles to overcome.  In my experience, the easy things in life are rarely as rewarding as the hard ones!

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