One of Those Days

Monday, August 24, 2009 by Dea.

I am currently fighting the urge to go into the kitchen and eat everything in sight.  I know I’ll regret it, and I know I’ll barely taste everything I stuff into my mouth.

My younger son started Kindergarten today.  He’s my baby, my little guy, and I am happy that he’s excited and growing like he’s supposed to be.  But I am also so very sad that he isn’t my sweet little toddler.  He has always been my buddy, my sidekick.  And I know that school will be a good influence for him.  He’ll also change, and he’s not my little guy anymore.

It is so hard to not quell my sadness with gobs of cheese and handfuls of  candy.  I dislike such self-destructive thoughts, but I also can’t figure out the correlation.  Why should taking my son to school set off this chain reaction of thoughts and urges?

So I sit, fighting the desire to induce a food coma the likes of which have never before been seen.  I know that this is temporary sadness, but I also know a new sadness or upset will come along.  I hope that fighting back these urges today will either make me stronger in the face of future one, or make future urges less powerful.

I’m sad.  But I’m not weak.  I hope…

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