Wednesday, September 2, 2009 by Dea.

I was reading this article about worst pizzas in America, and I came across this - the WORST Pizza in America.

1. WORST PIZZA IN AMERICA
Uno Chicago Grill Chicago Classic Deep Dish Individual Pizza
2,310 calories
165 g fat (54 g saturated)
4,920 mg sodium
120 g carbs

This is an individual pizza.  It contains more calories than I allow myself in an entire day - in supposedly ONE serving.

How on earth do they get  nearly 2400 calories in a single-serve pizza??  I can’t get over it.  Do they top it with lard?  Is there a layer of butter between the crust and the sauce?

We’re talking a bread-like substance, tomato sauce, and cheese.  I can make a normal pizza that would feed two people with a crust from a mix and regular cheese, and it STILL wouldn’t have this many grams of fat.

None of the options at the restaurants listed in the article are better than what I could do at home!  I do believe I’ll stay in next time I’m craving pizza.

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Monday, August 24, 2009 by Dea.

I am currently fighting the urge to go into the kitchen and eat everything in sight.  I know I’ll regret it, and I know I’ll barely taste everything I stuff into my mouth.

My younger son started Kindergarten today.  He’s my baby, my little guy, and I am happy that he’s excited and growing like he’s supposed to be.  But I am also so very sad that he isn’t my sweet little toddler.  He has always been my buddy, my sidekick.  And I know that school will be a good influence for him.  He’ll also change, and he’s not my little guy anymore.

It is so hard to not quell my sadness with gobs of cheese and handfuls of  candy.  I dislike such self-destructive thoughts, but I also can’t figure out the correlation.  Why should taking my son to school set off this chain reaction of thoughts and urges?

So I sit, fighting the desire to induce a food coma the likes of which have never before been seen.  I know that this is temporary sadness, but I also know a new sadness or upset will come along.  I hope that fighting back these urges today will either make me stronger in the face of future one, or make future urges less powerful.

I’m sad.  But I’m not weak.  I hope…

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Saturday, August 22, 2009 by Dea.

I had a really, really vivid dream last night.  It was one of those dreams where it feels so real, you can smell and taste and feel, and you wake up trying to figure out if it really happened.  My dream has meaning, too.  It means I’m way too caught up on food.

I dreamed I was in a bakery, ordering these outrageously gorgeous pastries.  It was so specific, they were pastries made by this order of French nuns in Chicago who sell their goodies at the local farmers’ market to support their charitable works.  Side note - these are the most fabulous bakery items I’ve ever had in my life.   This is why I’ve been avoiding the farmers’ market this summer.  But I digress.

In my dream, I was sampling and choosing some of the most fabulous, rich, decadent foods on this earth.  I tasted it, I woke up with the faintest taste of tart shell on my tongue.  And I nearly burst into tears when I realized I couldn’t have what I’d bought for breakfast.

Yup, I admit it.  I’m nuts over food.  This just proves it.  I can’t decide, though, whether I want a repeat of the dream or not.  I mean, those tarts and croissants were GOOD, but do I want the torture of craving them?

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 by Dea.

About a week and a half ago, my husband bought a frappuccino for the family to share.  This is where it started.  Now, every time I go into our Target, I hear that blender and I salivate.  I’ve had three since that fateful day.

I didn’t need this.  I did not need to be reminded how luscious the whipped cream truly is.  I also didn’t need to be drinking caffeine again.   I basically don’t need to be spending too much money for a drink with too many calories that will cause me to have migraines.

Does this stop me from craving them?  Of course not.  I need to get off this bender.  My waistline and my head can’t afford it.  Maybe writing about it will get me off this kick.  You’d think that, since I will have physical blinding pain as a result, I would be able to stop easily.  Not so much.  The human mind is a terrible, willful thing.

It is so much easier to stay away from things in the first place.  I hadn’t had a frappuccino in years, and after one-fourth of a small,  suddenly I’m this frappuccino addict, driven to find any excuse to hit a Target and get my fix.  Time to detox, I’m afraid.  Must stay strong.  Too bad I have to go to Target for school supplies.  After that, though, total boycott for a couple weeks so I can reset the old brain.

And so I say again - curse you, Frappuccino!

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